What Happened?

It's been on my mind, and I'm just going to put it out there.
I'm confused.

I sigh inside because I played right into this hand, but I really don't understand where the animosity came from and I guess I never expected it from someone that I trusted in whole-heartedly.
I had a friend who was indeed wiser, more mature, and far beyond my reach, but they were a great friend. A person with whom I shared a passion of life, excitement, a journey without words, and a connection beyond my years. I looked up to, idolized, and depended on them. I may have been silly, but it was true. Or at least, I thought it was...
I was at one time this incredibly naive person, and I made some extremely bad choices, YES, but to alienate me? It seems unfair.
My family and closer friends tell me that I should abandon the search for answers, but I just don't get it!
It's been well over two years? Three years? Still, it's a mystery.
I don't want to go back, I just want to know why all of a sudden I'm practically shunned.
*When I see you it's weird...and hurtful. It's almost as if no remnants of what I ever saw in you exist and that's a shame. You were so full of life and ambitious. I know some of your dreams, and I even knew what you wanted to do. It's like you don't see me.*
I do have one thing to say: I'm not going to stop being who I am. I'm not sure if that's the reason why all this crap happened, but I'm seriously on the verge of being pissed. I can pin-point the day (in 2007) when I felt shocked and amazed at the audacity of certain people.
I've held my tongue, and I'll continue to hold my tongue, but it's just irritating not knowing.
Oh well, I guess. Just know your friendship meant more to me than you'll ever know, and it's crazy that certain people just flip a switch without warning.
Maybe it was me? If it was, don't you think a FRIEND would have/should have told me?

I guess it's better this way, who knows.

I'm still here.

Aren't I?